What or Who Lifts You Up?

For years now, 10 to be exact, I have had a group of close women friends.  Some of the women come and go as they move, but the core group remains the same.  I am going to be perfectly honest and crystal clear with you…there have been times when we did not like one another.  I know this.  They know this, but we don’t say it.  Why don’t we say it?  Because we have evolved.  We know that the times we did not like one another were the times that we actually were thinking things like “I can’t believe she did that…or said that.”  But we got past that and through it and realized that the reason we had such strong feelings was the underlying love.  It can be difficult in a group of women, as you well know, to get past those feelings.  I read recently that if you are able to do this, and really understand your friend past 7 years, the friendship will make it.  I am glad that even in the dark times, we hung on because what we are building is worth it.

So I took the collective knowledge of this group of women and really explored the “self-esteem” issue we women have.  One night we were talking long into the evening about why we have self-esteem issues.  It was proposed it was a gift from our mothers.  If the women in our lives were always “dieting” and stressing out, then we too would take on that persona as an adult woman.  Now, I have two teenage, ACK, girls.  What message am I sending them right now?

Thankfully I took the words “diet” out of my vocabulary.  I try not to let them see me weigh on the stupid scale.  Guess who gave me the scale?  Anyway, it was not my husband.  I want ALL women to feel loved and supported by their peers.  Where “we” as women maybe once thought “Oh my gosh, she shouldn’t be wearing that!”  I wish “we” as women would think,why shouldn’t she wear that if she feels great in it? I have long since been extremely self-conscious about my mid section.  Worried people would see signs of where the doctor saved my baby’s life, and signs of where my big beautiful girls grew in my belly.  And signs, heaven help us, that I AM A BUSTY yoga teacher.  THEY might see my cleavage.  I don’t know who they are…men I guess.  So I came up with my #fierceFebruary challenge on my sister blog theburnedhand.com.  And as soon as I put the first photo up on FB someone defriended me.  IT COULD be a coincidence.  I am going to hope so.  But if not, who cares.  Stop hiding.

And I looked at the photo and I added filters.  What would people think of it?  Are my boobs too big?  Let me hide it behind some layers of filters.  And then I put it on Instagram for my challenge.  Don’t hide.  I am starting a new group of women who get in the 4 Weeks to Wellness program and we are going to be founding sisters as we work on building each other up.  Through Week 4 and beyond of the program, but week 4 is specifically self-care including what we do to lift ourselves up!!

3 Tips to Find What Lifts You Up:

1.  Think about a specific activity that makes you feel amazing.  Just think for a bit about that feeling you get of elation and happiness.  Where does it come from and how can you add more of that into your life?  I want you to pull out your trusty journal.  Remember the name exercise?  Well this is like that, but today we are writing the feelings we want to create for ourselves in the future.  Start journaling baby and don’t stop until you know all the things you want to feel!
2. What do you want to change?  I admit to stalking some friend’s posts on FB so I can see what women are saying to each other, and man, this last week was hard for some people.  Why would a friend constantly word vomit on you?  Were they not thinking about you?  <<< likely cause or were they thinking about what they want for you?  Again, could be that as well.  If you get mad and don’t have the brave conversation, things will stay the same.  If you have repeatedly said that things they do make you feel uncomfortable, etc, it might be time for a change.  The people around you really and truly give off energy.  It’s not some voodoo fake stuff, there are lots of scientific folks researching this “energetic field” so people can literally suck the life out of you.  Change that.  Really.
3. List things. Make lists of gratitude, lists of things you need to get done, and lists of feeling you want to create in your life.  List ways to be happy and repeatedly re-align yourself back to these lists.  Do not go into the past.  There is nothing for you back there.  Create new feelings and get it done like a check off list.  You can really change your thoughts this way.